Desperate Times
by Adreus
Summary: high school au — ...call for desperate measures. Or: Ryoga still hasn't asked Yuma out. Kaito is happily married to Libra.


**Notes: **...For some reason I never uploaded this here? Or maybe I did and deleted it for lack of reviews or something. Whatever the case, here you are! Knowledge of _Fire Emblem: Awakening _is recommended.

* * *

_Desperate Times_

* * *

By Monday, Ryoga still hasn't asked Yuma out.

This is, of course, not Kaito's problem; but Kaito is fairly confident that Ryoga isn't about to ask Yuma out by tomorrow, or by Wednesday or by Thursday, and Friday will come and Friday will go, and Ryoga will have failed to pay for a day at the movies and failed to offer Yuma some chocolate (or, you know, his hand in marriage), and Kaito will have to hear about it for the next five months—which isn't much of a change, since he's been hearing about it for the past three, but, you know, principle of the thing.

"Have you considered," Kaito tries, when Ryoga's finished whining about how Yuma never shuts up so Ryoga never has the right _opportunity_ to ask him, don't you get it, Kaito, "a text message."

Kaito is lucky that Ryoga's been too anxious to touch his smoothie, because he would've spit it out.

"A text? I'm—that's _pathetic_."

"So are you."

"Look who's talking," scoffs Ryoga, pausing momentarily in his manic walking to eye Kaito's 3DS.

"Libra and I are in a loving, committed relationship," says Kaito, rolling over on the couch so he's on his back with his handheld above him, blocking Ryoga from his view. "And I'm not the one desperate for a date on Valentine's Day."

The two of them are at Ryoga's place, because Ryoga invited Kaito over for an emergency meeting and Kaito asked why he should come and Ryoga promised that Kaito's father doesn't live in the Kamishiro household, which, you know, deal, so Kaito brought his 3DS and the SD card with _Fire Emblem_ on it and chose a couch in Ryoga's living room to claim as his island for the rest of the day. Ryoga for his part, sunk a hole into the floor for how much he's been pacing; Valentine's Day is on a Friday, and that movie that Yuma's been talking about for months is also on Friday, and this is Ryoga's moment, Kaito's told him to seize the day or whatever, but Ryoga is being—surprise!—a weenie, which. Should not be Kaito's problem.

"Some of us get crushes on actual _people_, asshole," scoffs Ryoga. "Yuma's not some stupid dating sim. I can't, like, look up the GameFAQs and choose the right options, _Mrs. Libra_."

"First of all," says Kaito, as he watches his husband Dual Attack an archer Kaito could have handled on his own, but thanks, sweetie, "I use Serenes. And a Yuma dating sim wouldn't _need_ a guide. All you have to do to get Yuma's attention is exist. Which for some reason is a concept you have trouble grasping."

Ryoga takes offense to that and glares at Kaito, who doesn't notice because his eyes are fixated on the 3DS, so Ryoga glares, like, harder, as though Kaito will feel the intensity of his glare, which—predictably—doesn't work, so Ryoga goes back to pacing, trying to make as much noise as possible and loudly repeating all of his plans… until finally Ryoga gets irritated enough with the game's sound effects that he just stomps over to Kaito and slaps the 3DS's screen shut.

"What the—"

"Pay attention to me!"

"I thought you were asking _Yuma_—"

"Just help me, jackass!"

Kaito glances at his 3DS and then back at Ryoga, who looks like he's about to cry, so Kaito sighs and tucks _Fire Emblem_ into his pocket and sits up, crosses his arms. Looks at Ryoga and nods that he's ready.

Ryoga looks back.

Kaito raises an eyebrow. "Did you want me to help or not?"

Ryoga scowls and looks the other way, refusing to meet Kaito's eyes, and, yeah, wow, pink cheeks.

What a giant _baby_.

"I already told you to text him," says Kaito, shrugging. "Since whenever you talk to him you—well, what you're doing to me right now."

"I'm not doing any—"

"That."

"Shut up."

"You look absolutely _adorable_ blushing like that, Ryoga." Kaito snorts and shakes his head, puts out his hand for Ryoga's phone. Ryoga stares at Kaito's open palm suspiciously, then glances at his phone, as if imagining the fate that might befall it; he refuses to give in, and Kaito rolls his eyes again, because this is going to take _forever_ and Kaito was just about to recruit Morgan, who is harder to recruit than Yuma should be to court.

"Okay, fine," says Kaito, "Then imagine I'm Yuma."

He says it plainly, the same way he'd say 'I have to give Haruto a bath' or 'you smell like onions,' without a bat of an eyelash or a hint of humor, like that's something easy to do or something plausible at all, and Ryoga finally stops looking like he's about to cry or be sick; instead, he bursts out laughing.

"_You_? Like hell."

"Shaaaaark," says Kaito, standing up to get closer in Ryoga's face, "That's meeeean."

Ryoga frowns, backing up so they're a decent distance away. "Yuma doesn't sound like that."

"I apologize if my voice isn't boyish enough for your tastes."

"Don't make it sound like—"

"Heeey, Shark," says Kaito now, effecting his voice to be higher pitched, to be whiny, and Ryoga stares at him, dumbfounded, like he didn't realize Kaito had a range beyond 'bored monotone' and 'talking to his little brother.' "Hey, you know, Valentine's Day is coming up…"

Ryoga still isn't impressed, and takes another step back, muttering, "You look _nothing_ like him."

"Ryoga," Kaito says then, breaking character as he collapses back onto the couch and pulls out his own phone and pulls up an app, "I get it, I'm not as cute as Yuma. But I am capable of obtaining your Facebook password in a few seconds."

"Kaaaiiiiuuuuuuma!" Ryoga shouts suddenly, so loud that Kaito winces, and Ryoga comes closer and he's grinning so wide it's scary, but with each word he loses momentum and backs up again, seems to remember he's looking at the seventeen-year-old senior and not the fifteen-year-old sophomore, seems to feel the embarrassment building up in his cheeks and the minnows in his stomach: So, uh, I was thinking, Friday, like, do you… maybe… want to… you… with me…"

By the end, he's totally muttering, and he's totally giving up, because eventually he collapses on the sofa next to Kaito and holds his head in his hands and kind of crashes into Kaito's side crying in distress, and Kaito has to kind of shift so he can console him with one hand while he fidgets with his phone in the other.

"Hey," says Kaito after a moment, patting Ryoga's back and carefully pushing him away, "Don't worry. You're not as much of a failure as you could be."

Ryoga, who's fixing his hair and his shirt and putting a fair bit of space between them like that didn't just happen, like Kaito isn't a crutch for his despair, stares at him. "What?"

Kaito shows him the screen:

_movies on friday? my treat._

_omg yea! kaito said 2 keep fri fre way lol_

"You—"

His mission complete, Kaito pulls out his 3DS and sinks into the couch again. "Not my problem anymore," he says, and gets comfortable.


End file.
